A. Dick Nowakowski Withdraws from Canadian Avalanche Association

Celebrated tenor saxophonist A. Dick Nowakowski announced Wednesday that he was cancelling his membership in the Canadian Avalanche Association, six hours after learning that the Association was dedicated to the prevention of avalanches in Canada. The revelation was brought on by the receipt of an annual members’ mailing which included the Association’s mission statement, a document generally geared to the promotion of avalanche safety and research.

“I think this is a blatant case of misleading advertising,” said Nowakowski in a press release, “What reasonable person would look at the name of this group and assume that they were in the business of stopping avalanches? How many people have donated money to the Canadian Avalanche Association under false pretenses? I, for one, intend to get my money back.”

Subsequent to his comments on the Canadian Avalanche Association, Nowakowski announced the creation of an avalanche association with “considerably more integrity” which is to be named Avalanches Canada. He also displayed a hand-drawn version of a logo which, by Nowakowski’s own acknowledgement, closely resembled the red and white slope logo of the Canadian Avalanche Association. “Whereas theirs is a traditional red,” noted Nowakowski, “ours is more of an off-red. In the marketing world, those are miles apart.”

A. Dick Nowakowski spokesperson Hank White appeared to provide details on the progress of the new organization. “In the first half-hour after putting our new logo on the website, Avalanches Canada has received over $4500 in donations. I think it’s fair to call that a good start.” White later said he “seriously doubted” that the donations had anything to do with the similarities between the Avalanches Canada logo and that of the Canadian Avalanche Association.

White was less specific on the goals of the new organization. While a legal disclaimer at the bottom of the Avalanches Canada site lists “avalanche fans” as the intended users of the site, White refused to limit himself when speaking of the goals of the organization. “This is a group dedicated to avalanches in all forms, shapes and sizes, and to the betterment of humankind generally. Don’t try to pigeon-hole us because guaranteed we’ll surprise you,” said White.

An hour after the press conference, the A. Dick Nowakowski Family of Companies announced plans to fund the construction of an avalanche observation centre and day spa in the Whistler area.