Site for Monument to Dim-Witted Changed to Surrey Industrial Park

In a surprise announcement read by A. Dick Nowakowski Sports & Entertainment spokesman Hank White, it was revealed that Nowakowski's personal pet project, a "Monument to the Dim-Witted", will not be built in Stanley Park as announced Friday morning, nor will it be made out of papier maché. Rather, the monument will now be constructed entirely out of steel on a vacant lot purchased Friday afternoon by ADNSE in the North Newton Industrial Park in Surrey, B.C.

White denied that the move was made because Nowakowski had failed to obtain the proper building permit prior to his Stanley Park announcement and, in conjunction with the Carleton School of Architecture, had failed to recognize that paper maché was not a construction material. White asserted that the decision was made solely because the Surrey site offered more parking for visitors and because projected world paper maché prices now made the Friday morning proposal economically unviable.

A footnote to the published statement indicated that the size of the monument would also be downgraded slightly, such that the monument would now measure 1.6 metres in height.