Nowakowski to Shatter Step Tumbling Record in Aid of Gay Marriage

Come join Dick Nowakowski at Seattle's Space Needle at 10:00 am on September 30, 2004 to witness his second attempt at setting a new world record for the most steps tumbled down in a stunt fall. You will be amazed by Dick's resilience and elasticity as he bounces down the 551 concrete steps of the Space Needle in his effort to shatter Sir Martin Shenton's current record of 109 steps. This is an event not to be missed as Dick will be tumbling in support of same-sex marriage in the State of Washington. Fun for the entire family.

Nowakowski to Unicycle Death Valley for World Peace

Dick Nowakowski, part-time stuntman and naturalist, is set to ride his unicycle across Death Valley in an effort to raise awareness for the plight of the Mexican Burrowing Toad and to promote world peace. Equipped with nothing more than his wits, three juggling balls and a canteen, Dick will attempt to become the first person to successfully traverse Death Valley on a unicycle. Dick invites you to come out and witness what is sure to be a rollicking spectacle of human struggle, pitting man against the elements and his unicycle. Pledge your moral support for Dick's endeavor by emailing him at dicknowakowski2003@yahoo.ca today.

Location: Death Valley, California
Date: September 24, 2004

PHD candidate in Applied Botany, A. Dick Nowakowski Presents Re-potting Seminar in Cambridge

Location: Grand River Garden Plots, Cambridge, Ontario

Date: September 21, 2004

Fall is starting and you are wondering how you can save some of those perennials that took up so much of your love all summer? A Brock University PhD candidate in Applied Botany, Dick Nowakowski puts his wealth of floral care experience at your disposal for this free seminar on the banks of the Grand in historic Cambridge, Ontario. Serious gardeners and weekend hackers are invited to come down to see Dick with their questions or just to learn a little more about the science behind re-potting plants. Dick will be joined by collaborator Andre, who also happens to be the only vervet monkey in the world who can prune an orchid in accordance with the Guerney Pruning Theory.

Contact Dick Nowakowskidicknowakowski2003@yahoo.ca

A. Dick Nowakowski's Vibe-tacular Northern Lights

September 18, 2004

In a reversal of historical trends, DJ Dizzy Dick makes the long trek north to bring his gold to the Yukon. Dick will be dropping his cutting edge trance beats from the booth at Sheppard's with the help of his trusty companion, Andre the singing Monkey. The show will be blinding whirlwind of sound and light, thanks to the matching luminescent unitards that Dick and Andre "procured" during their trip to New Zealand.

The Chaka Khan Experience opens for dick at 8 pm, playing, not surprisingly, the music of Chaka Khan, who is one of Dizzy's principal musical influences.

A. Dick Nowakowski's Flames of Jazz

Mississauga, Ontario

September 16, 2004

Canadian jazzicist "Dizzy" Dick Nowakowski two-steps into The Andre Ampitheatre in Mississauga, Ontario on September 16 for a gig featuring the Mississauga Firefighters Good Time Band and the Mississauga Homemakers'Glee Club. In addition to original Nowakowski numbers like "Children and peace are playing blind man's bluff", the ensemble will start by tracing the roots of jazz from Buddy Bolden through Lionel Ritchie right up to Nora Jones.
Act two will feature a ladder-rescue demonstration by the firefighters, a medley of dance performances from Nowakowski's wildly successful "Baghdad Dick" dance show now playing in outdoor locations around Toronto and a real-life barn raising by area Mennonites.

Admission is free with a donation.

A. Dick Nowakowski, featuring Lil' Andre

A. Dick Nowakowski presents...

A. Dick Nowakowski, feat. Lil' Andre

Date: Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Place: Harbourfront Centre, Queens Quay West, Toronto, Canada

Admission: FREE

Description:
Join struggling crooner A Dick Nowakowski and his rag-tag band of musical hobos, as they lay down medley after medley of blues inspired Haitian voodoo funk at the Harbourfront Centre. Backed by Little Andre on harmonica, the only vervet this side of the Dominican able to play Ya Ya Ti Kongo on the congo while eating a banana, Dick's haunting voice will leave you wondering why he remains an unsigned talent to this day. Time and time again, Dick will reach down to tickle his squeezebox and amaze you with Haitian fused rhythms of the down and out, including Rock Bottom Again, Dumpsta Divin', Is that a shiv in your pocket?, and Spare Change Mista? Don't miss this exciting event. You will not be disappointed.

AS ALWAYS FOOD DONATIONS WELCOME

A. Dick Nowakowski Sings for His Supper

September 11, 2004

Event: A. Dick Nowakowski Sings for His Supper

Time: 9:00 PM - 11:30 PM

Information:
Tenor A. Dick Nowakowski, Canada's Mel Torme, will unleash his velvety voice on the people of Cowichan for one night only. Dick will be appearing outdoors at the Cowichan Lake Marina, performing his spectacular new Vegas-bound show, Baghdad Dick. Also included will be jazz hits from his last record, "Peace isn't peace without children". Admission is free, but attendees are asked to bring a food item to share with Dick after the concert.

Catapult for People

Subject Catapult for People
Posted by A. Dick Nowakowski on 2004-05-05 10:52
I must admit that I am a relative newcomer to the world of catapults and trebuchets. Before I begin building one, I would like to hear some opinions on the feasibility of constructing a catapult capable of launching a small person over a wall with some barbed-wire on top. Has it been successfully done before? Would a small trebuchet be better suited to the task?

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Subject Re: Catapult for People
Posted by Ron on 2004-05-05 11:15
Hmmm..
I think that if you wrap the barbed wire around the person to start with, then drag them behind a car for a couple of hundred feet, That might be an easier way to achieve the same end.

Required response: DON'T DO IT, YOU COULD BE SERIOUSLY HURT OR KILLED.

-- Ron

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Subject Re: Catapult for People
Posted by Les on 2004-05-05 15:01
As Ron said.
The subject has been raised several times on this board (not by long-time members who know better than to ask, though).
We all agreed on the standard answer: do yourself a favour and forget it.

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Subject Re: Catapult punkins, not People
Posted by Walker on 2004-05-05 17:48
Dick,
Use a ladder.

Are you trying to escape from somewhere?
Did you know that the Berlin wall is down.
Poland is a free Democratic state.
Maybe if we knew what you really wanted to do, then we could help better.

However,
If you simply want to see if it could be done, then the answer is yes, you could throw a small person over a short wall topped with barbed wire. He would be dead, but you could do it.

Don't do it!

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Subject Re: Catapult punkins, not People
Posted by A. Dick Nowakowski on 2004-06-05 11:34
As a matter of fact I am. I'm getting desperate. I cannot take one more day in this asylum they call a medium security prison. There are rats living in the showers and unidentified lumps in the potatoes. My cell mate has taken to getting friendly with me in my sleep.

I have managed to collect 20' of surgical tubing from the infirmary and a number of wooden planks from the chapel pews. One way or the other, I am going over that wall.

Gotta go. My internet time for the week is almost up. I will try and check for responses tomorrow if anyone has any other ideas. Thanks.

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Subject Re: Catapult punkins, not People
Posted by Walker on 2004-09-05 20:41
The guards say that they never even read your web history, except the porno sites.

No kidding, Ski, don't hurt yourself.

Dick's Friend: Colin Mochrie

Dick Nowakowski: A Friend to the Prairie Dog

Author: A Big Fan
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:37 pm Post subject: Dick Nowakowski: A Friend to the Prairie Dog
I found this event listing on a Utah community events board. Anyone know if Colin even knows this guy, let alone makes personal appearances with him? I have never heard of Dick Nowakowski, but he sounds interesting. "Come down to the University of Utah on October 24, 2004 at 10:00am and meet the man who spent 14 months burrowed underground in the unforgiving scrubland of North Dakota studying the endangered black-tailed prairie dog. You will be amazed by his tales of survival, as he struggled to eak out an existence in his crudely constructed "prairie-dome" eating nothing but insects, grubs and powerbars. You will be moved by his emotional account of being accepted into the prairie dog clan after helping them to fend off attacks from hawks and a maurading weasel. You will be shocked by his retelling of the fateful night he lost an ear-lobe to a hungry mole that stumbled upon Dick while he was sleeping. Dick, and his good friend Colin Mochrie, will be signing autographs and first edition copies of Dick's book, "My Life as a Prairie Dog". As Dick and Colin are scheduled to make consecutive attempts at breaking the world record for step-tumbling in Seattle in November, this may be your last chance to meet these part-time step-tumblers and full-time prairie dog enthusiasts. "


CM Web: Site Admin
Posts: 2642Joined: 03 Sep 2003Location: Canada
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:42 pm Post subject:
Dick has shown up on this board. In the Questions forum. Actually, A Big Fan? Looking at your information ... I'm surprised you haven't run into Dick before. Or say, caught the earlier post about him on this messageboard? Quite surprised. Incredibly surprised. However, I'm afraid to say that Colin is performing elsewhere that weekend. So Dick is out of luck.

An Even Bigger FanGuest
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 3:06 pm Post subject:
Funny you mention that. I do recall seeing a post from Dick himself no less a month or two ago. Damn shame about Colin performing elsewhere that weekend. I think he and Dick would dazzle an audience with their incredible comedic timing and willingness to do just about anything for a laugh. Thanks for clearing that up.
All the best, Ryan Stiles

SEB
Posts: 755Joined: 16 Sep 2003
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 3:25 pm Post subject:
Wow... Welcome Ryan Stiles! (And I choose to believe that it is you.) Thanks for making our day!

PeppitaGuest
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 3:28 pm Post subject:
I think someone's also trying to sell us a bridge in San Francisco! Someone's having a little game with us. Ha. Ha.

SEB
Posts: 755Joined: 16 Sep 2003
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 4:01 pm Post subject:
*raises eyebrow* So we've been hoodwinked? The nerve of some people! I'm very displeased...

M
Posts: 1193Joined: 12 Sep 2003
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 4:05 pm Post subject:
Yeah . . . and why would Ryan post here anyways? I mean its pretty well known how much he hates Colin. *smirk* M ~glad that SEB is back from the ickiness of Ivan _________________"Friends don't let friends do Hoedowns."

Dick NowakowskiGuest
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 4:09 pm Post subject:
Displeased enough to join me on October 10, 2004 in my second attempt at breaking the world record for the most steps tumbled down in a stunt fall? I will be tumbling down the 551 concrete steps of Seattle's Space Needle in an attempt to break the current world record of 109 steps (held by Sir Martin Shenton) and to raise awareness for the plight of Washington's endangered Woodland Caribou. Refreshments will be served. Dick Nowakowski

PepperoniGuest
Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 4:15 pm Post subject:
Hhmmm... What kind of refreshments? Caribou, prairie dogs, dancing monkeys. You may be twisted, Dick Nowakowski, but you've got a soft spot for animals, so I guess you're okay. Good luck with those stairs!

A. Dick Nowakowski's Terre Haute Nights

A. Dick Nowakowski's Terre Haute Nights

Date(s): 9/2/2004 - 9/12/2004
Place: Prospect Park
Hours: 7:00 pm to 11:30 pm

Toronto playwright Dick Nowakowski wrote this play never having been to Terre Haute and never having written a play before. In September 04, Dick takes to the Terre Haute stage to begin a triumphant run of his classic play about peace and children and Terre Haute at night. Organization: A. Dick Nowakowski Sports and Entertainment Contact: Dick Nowakowski Address: 20 Queen St. West Toronto, ON m5h3s1 Email: dicknowkowski2003@yahoo.ca

A. Dick Nowakowski's Mood Music

September 1, 2004

Chicago, Illinois

Grant Park, 331 E. Randolph St., Chicago, 60601

Self-proclaimed "King of Canadian Folk" A. Dick Nowakowski makes his only second stop in Chicago to conduct a planned impromtu sing-a-long in Grant Park on September 1, 2004. With Dick dropping his trance beats and Andre the Singing Monkey leading the crowd, this promises to be a once in a lifetime opportunity to sing with the King. Attendees are asked to rehearse singing as many John Secada hits as possible prior to meeting Dick at the Buckingham Memorial Fountain at 7 pm.

Admission is free with a donation.